Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
