after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
