She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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