My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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