I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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