Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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