he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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