Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
