Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
