HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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