Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
