i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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