Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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