yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
