I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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