Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
