My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
