He is such a slut. More and more my type.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
