you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
