I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
