Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
