All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
