So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
