between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
