why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
