If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
