pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
