Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize