Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
