Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
