sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
