its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize