i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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