Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
be right there i have to get my cape
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
