My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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