I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize