I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
