First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
