Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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