I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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