take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
MIDGETS
????
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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