I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
