I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
