I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
