Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
