I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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