Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
