suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
