Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
