She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
