At least make sure they are 18
Why
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
