You're completely useless in the revolution.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
