i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
