ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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