You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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