haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize